We're so glad you're here.
I'd like you to meet Betty...
Betty, aka, Miss Betty, or Her Royal Stroppiness, came storming into my life at the beginning of May 2014.
She had given birth to her kittens in my shed several weeks before I caught sight of her escorting them around the flowers in my garden.
According to neighbours, Betty had apparently belonged to someone who had lived a couple of streets away, who had moved and left Betty behind. I was appalled. How could they? I said. What kind of people would do such a thing? I huffed.
Having lived with Betty for three months, I believe the people who formerly lived under her feisty paw probably stole away under the cover of darkness, whispering panicked instructions to each other about how to make a safe getaway. It was undoubtedly the kindest thing they could have done for themselves.
In the short time that I have known Betty, she has used 6 of her nine lives, and has shaved a fair few off my quota.
Betty is tiny, only just bigger than a large kitten. She is quirky (consistently surprised by the whoopee cushion noises her bottom makes each time she sits down), feisty (hisses at her own tail when it twitches), bossy (Eric the cat has been hit on the head more times, frankly, than he cares for) and hysterically, belly-laugh-bonkers (she has a habit of trotting across the landing and walking into the wall).
She is sweet, loving, and grumpy. She spends a lot of time puffed up and walking on tippy-toes.
Favourite place to sleep: Inside her pink, crinkle tube.
Favourite food: Tuna.
Her favourite things to do:
1. Wait in hiding for Eric or Ernie. Leap out, attacking them ninja style, giving them the full-fury of her "I am a pom-pom with claws" experience.
2. Walk up and down the full length of my body, kneading me like a lump of dough, while showing me her bottom, and edging it ever-closer to my horrified eyeballs.
3. Bewitch everyone who meets her with her diminutive beauty whilst plotting furiously how to make them her minions.
Least favourite things:
1. Banana skins.
2. Running taps.
3. Any living being that has not quite understood they are her minion.
She has survived being homeless for two years, getting pregnant, having kittens in my shed, raising them alone for eight weeks (even though she was without regular food), and a severe dose of peritonitis due to being so physically depleted after having her kittens that her body couldn't cope with being neutered. The vets treating her told me they didn't think she would survive. I needed to prepare for the worst. She made it through. And to top it all off, she is living with only one working kidney.
I started posting updates to my facebook page about Betty as soon as she first appeared in my garden. Her journey from "Homeless Single Parent", to "Bonkers Betty, Ruler Of All She Surveys" has been too much fun to keep to myself. Due to popular demand, she now has her own blog.
I look forward to sharing with you what Betty has been up to. I hope she makes you laugh as much as she does me.